Audio Atrocities (TM) :: Vampire Night (Playstation 2)

Namco and SEGA teamed up to crank out this light gun game that carries on the tradition of cool visuals, great action, and terrible voice work. Absolute, bottom-of-the-barrel, no-clue acting is packed wall to wall here. In fact, there's so much bad dialogue and acting, I had a hard time choosing. It was like a hyped-up video game equivalent of Sophie's Choice, but instead of two kids, I had to choose just three clips from fifteen almost equally bad examples. But unlike Sophie's Choice, the twelve I didn't pick are still around for you to sample. Be sure to sample them all, you won't believe a game shipped to retail with acting like this.

Exhibit A: “Don't come...don't come!”
Okay, I'm starting to think this has become some kind of sick tradition at SEGA. Another SEGA light-gun game with this quote, and this time by a girl that's definitely not legal! Someone ring them up and let them in on the secret that “Stay away!” is a much safer and non-double-entendre laden translation than “Don't Come” in English?

Exhibit B: “Suc...cess!”
Bad inflection made me think this was going to say something else the first time I heard it. Now it just cracks me up. Suck what? Cess!

Exhibit C: “...I can't sleep without Molly.”
Really, really, REALLY bad impression of a small girl by a grown woman. Stupid line, terrible delivery, strange accent. Just another day in the studios at SEGA.

The Rest:
Haven't had enough? Here's some additional clips for your amusement:
Clip 4, Clip 5, Clip 6, Clip 7, Clip 8, Clip 9, Clip 10, Clip 11, Clip 12, Clip 13, Clip 14, Clip 15

“Suc...cess!”