Audio Atrocities (TM) :: Blue Stinger (Dreamcast)

Blue Stinger is a survival horror game that is essentially an unintentional survival comedy. The acting, situations, and storyline are so cheesy, it's impossible to be scared by it, and it just ends up being one crazy scenario or wacky character introduction after another..

The game is a virtual moron gabfest, with crazy names for the characters, silly conversations taken very seriously, situations that have to be seen to be believed, and some of the worst acting I've ever enjoyed. This is probably the game Prince wanted to party with in 1999, and I wouldn't blame him for it - it's that crazy. It seems like SEGA localized this and Activision just licensed it, so the blame falls in a familiar place. I could talk about it more, but why? There's some Atrocious stuff to HEAR, and in addition to the three featured clips there's a bunch of entries into the Dr. Wiley School of unrehearsed line reading towards the end of The Rest, so dig right in:

Exhibit A: “...I think I swallowed some of the monster vomit...”
And no, pineapple juice wouldn't have made this taste better, either. When in doubt, spit it out. There's something so direct about this line that makes it funny, especially with your pal Dogs' firm grasp of the obvious at the end.

Exhibit B: “I'm gonna take a bath. Nothin's gonna stop me!”
This is one of the weirdest scenes in the game. Elliot and his rotund partner Dogs stumble across a Roman-style bath in the middle of a fortified base and decide it's time to get naked together to clean up so the monsters can't SMELL them. Seriously.

Exhibit C: “...the dachshund. Is that the name of your pills?”
Seriously bad localization here. He's not sending you on a mission for essence of weiner-dog. The Japanese name for this medicine is docksin, but you don't see it spelled on the canister until later and they pronounce it so it SOUNDS like the dog. But wait, it gets weirder. Once you deliver the medicine this happens. All of this could have been avoided if they just changed the name of the medicine to something that didn't sound like Stretch Armstrong's canine sidekick. Bad, lazy, localization, plain and simple.

The Rest:
Haven't had enough? Here's some additional clips for your amusement:
Clip 4, Clip 5, Clip 6, Clip 7, Clip 8, Clip 9, Clip 10, Clip 11, Clip 12, Clip 13, Clip 14

“...the dachshund. Is that the name of your pills?”